Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs' service firms or secret societies are endangered.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: One kind of technological object (Scrubot (or bot brain)) is misbehaving.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A High Programmer who mis-programmed a CompNode so badly the entire node must be re-imaged and rebooted (the situation is cover for this.) (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A strange new Food Vat slime is causing antisocial and dangerous activity in consumers of Hot Fun. The Computer needs PCs to destroy the slime. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: The "Someone" has taken control of empty transtube station and is slaughtering enemies. The PCs are either trapped there or sent to deal with the problem.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Briefing time is wrong. The information is missing, replaced by [INSERT DATA HERE] or similar. Secret society contacts or servile truckling to The Computer may fill in missing data.

Briefing: Briefing is in empty dining area (IR: mess hall; R-Y: cafeteria; G-B: dining room; I-U: dining hall). Briefing officer wears power vest (Experimental R&D equipment, charged with high voltage, does S4K energy damage to attackers using bare hands, metal hand weapons or force swords) and fiddles with an exotic-looking gauss gun (W3K energy); expects attack at any moment.

This Mission: Investigate accusations of GREEN CPU forms designer planting evidence against BLUE (bureaucratic obstacle, amicable, self-interested, ordinary).

Outfitting: C-Bay or other online auction site: Price: list price. Delivery: agreed drop point nearby (INFRARED (Tension 2) crowded decaying and pestilential wreck of an abandoned sector: grooming and hygiene station), immediate. Computer Phreak prankster breaks in during each bid the PCs make, taunting them and deriding their equipment and mission.

Debriefing: The debriefing officer sits in complete silence while paging through several thick files, flanked by BLUE Vulture troopers armed with cone rifles. PCs who speak are met with scowls. The debriefing ends without a word.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.