Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The PCs are themselves the greatest threat to Alpha Complex.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: Everyone in Alpha Complex behaves in an inexplicably kind way toward one specific PC.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: An executive at one of the PCs' service firms, who wishes to covertly create the situation in order to procure a fat service-group repair contract. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A major malfunction has rendered an entire sector uninhabitable; the local environment kills an unprotected citizen in minutes if not seconds. The threat is real.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Briefing location is wrong. The information is replaced by treasonous PURGE propaganda.

Briefing: Briefing is in inside Alpha Complex dome . Officer has serious coughing fit every few words, disrupting every sentence, and becomes increasingly angry with every request to repeat himself.

This Mission: Neutralize INFRARED scrubot lint screen cleaner (bureaucratic obstacle, psychotic, kill-crush-smash-destroy) in crowded computer interface (IR: public terminals area; R-Y: Computer cafe; G-B: private terminal, I-U: communications nexus).

Outfitting: C-Bay or other online auction site: Price: list price. Delivery: please allow 24 hours for delivery to PCs' specified address. Drop point to pick up purchased equipment is inside Alpha Complex dome run by Spy for another Alpha Complex, which charges a 2% commission for services.

Debriefing: Room is sheet steel with a single chair in the center and a large sign: PLEASE SIT DOWN with arrow pointing to the chair. The debriefing officer spends the session pacing around the chair, and (if necessary) discourages PCs from sitting in it. Chair is harmless.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.