Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: The Commie mutant traitors are losing, and that's bad.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: The economy has grown even stranger than usual.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A senior PLC official, whose division has fallen into strangling bureaucratic torpor and must now be massively overhauled or terminated. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Waste disposal is breaking down; garbage is backing up in the hallways and will soon flood the complex. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: Endless wave of assassination attempts will befall psychotic, kill-crush-smash-destroy, who uses the Troubleshooters as decoys while he protects himself.

Mission Alert: Text message on PDC. Message is intact and correct.

Briefing: Briefing is in crowded decaying and pestilential wreck of an abandoned sector: dining area (IR: mess hall; R-Y: cafeteria; G-B: dining room; I-U: dining hall). Briefing officer is shot just after the PCs arrive and is replaced by a different officer who acts extremely shifty and refuses to answer questions.

This Mission: Deliver these emergency truncheon (S5K impact), knife (S5K), brass knuckles (S5W), or any other low-tech melee to a Troubleshooter team under attack. No, you don't need to be armed; it's a simple delivery mission!

Outfitting: C-Bay or other online auction site: Price: +25% over list. Delivery: will get around to it someday for sure. Drop point to pick up purchased equipment is MemoMax archive vault run by Internal Security plant (hiding as Illuminati (undercover as Spy for another Alpha Complex)), which charges a 2% commission for services.

Debriefing: A mirrored room filled with eye-searing halogen lamps. The PCs' eyes water constantly. The officer and guards wear shaded full-face visors.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.