Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online

Team Leader Clearance:
Number of Service Services:
Secret Society Missions
Anti-Mutant
Computer Phreak
Death Leopard
Communist
FCCC-P
Corpore Metal
Frankenstein Destroyer
Free Enterprise
Mystic
Humanist
Pro Tech
Illuminati
Psion
PURGE
Romantic
Sierra Club

Your Mission

The Computer has generated the following mission for your team. It has been carefully designed to ensure the maximum safety and satisfaction for your team.

Paranoia is the Irrational Fear Someone is Out To Get You

(Fear) Dominant type of fear to install in the PCs: Alpha Complex works with terrifying efficiency.

(Irrational) General kind of weirdness or irregularity that prompts The Computer to assign a mission to the Troubleshooters: One kind of technological object (hand buzzer) is misbehaving.

(Someone) Person, people, organization or agency responsible for the situation: A senior Food Vat Control supervisor in ORANGE (Tension 8) IR marketeer living quarters, whose division is overproducing, underproducing or doing something strange to the food. (The identity of the Someone need not be obvious at the mission's outset, and in fact things may play out more appropriately if the Someone is not discovered until late in the proceedings.)

(Out To Get You) General apparent threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: A strange new Food Vat slime is causing antisocial and dangerous activity in consumers of Hot Fun. The Computer needs PCs to destroy the slime. The threat is a lie.

(Out To Get You) General real threat posed by the situation, or the consequences if the situation is left unresolved: The "Someone" in a ULTRAVIOLET Gallery of Perversities is flooding the networks with viruses.

Mission Alert: A polite INFRARED dihydromonoxide treatment attendant acting as a courier delivers alert hardcopy; seeks 10cr 'tip' for the delivery. Briefing location is wrong. The information is obscured by advertising (pop-up ad, jingle, viral marketing, etc.). Sponsoring advertiser may possibly have record of unaltered alert.

Briefing: Briefing is in empty Armed Forces firing range. Briefing officer is weird invalid (e.g., suspended in sound-dampening gel in a swimming pool communicating through a bizarre array of tubing).

This Mission: Deliver this ominous, ticking package to a Death Leopard base. Make sure they accept it. By the way, this mission has a time limit...

Outfitting: PLC: Empty office. Door is open. No security (Tension level 0). PCs may take what they want, but have to find it themselves and fill out proper paperwork. If the paperwork isn't filled out, the items are reported stolen. May be interrupted by IR market thieves, passing looters, etc.

Debriefing: A compact office with one desk and a chair, occupied by the debriefing officer, with the PCs standing amid towers of forms, printouts and manila folders, all bearing the names of one or more PCs.

Find weird phrasing, clearly erroneous output, or other signs of filthy commie mutant traitor sabotage? Copy the offending passages and email them to the High Programmer for investigation.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online is based on the Mission Blender included with the Paranoia XP GM's Screen, published by Mongoose Publishing Ltd., and is provided here with the permission of the copyright owners. Copyright © 1983, 1987, 2004 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a trademark of Eric Goldberg and Greg Costikyan. All rights reserved.

Paranoia XP is fun. Other games are not fun. Buy Paranoia.

The Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online software was developed by Alan De Smet. Find bugs, weird language, or error messages? Want to chat about the Paranoia XP Mission Blender Online? Email me.